i just had sex bonerless
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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