His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
