I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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