I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sobbing to NWA
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize