im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
