Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
