anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize