I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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