Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She bit a glass in half.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
