Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it's like iHOP with fire
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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