you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
