I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize