two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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