So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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