Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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