Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
