It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
