ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
