no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize