Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize