Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
