He disabled his match.com account in front of me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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