can u get pink eye on your cock?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
