So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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