therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
