Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
