You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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