one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
