Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
