Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sorry about my life...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
