only if we run a train.
done.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
