I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
