it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize