when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
