I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
