it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
