i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
