I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
