my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Welp...herpes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
