just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
