it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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