Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
