Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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