My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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