Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
