life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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