I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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