Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
