i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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