Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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