I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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