Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
