you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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