Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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