I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
