well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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