I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
