i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
