I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize