i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
