What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
