I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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